Felt the urge to write……….
Do you ever sit back & take a long look at your life. Only to fully understand why things turned out the way they did?.
I’ve spent the last few days looking back & deep thinking over a few things that didn’t work out. I went through a few days of feeling low & in deep thought. I felt restless & couldn’t switch off (wasn’t sleeping properly).
Looking back alot has changed.
Yet i now understand why things turned out the way they did. As if things didn’t change, I’d doubt I’d be the woman i am today.
Hindsight puts alot into perspective.
When you’re young, you think you know it all.
It’s when you get older, that you realise alot.
Things are never perfect in life. But right now i am grateful to the Universe that i am where i am at this moment in time.
I’ve got a small circle of people whom i trust fully & i am grateful to each of them.
I have learnt so much since awakening & realised so much along the way.
Today i understand the way things played out in the dark moments of my life & why they happened.
Growth & Change can be hard at times but they are essential to Evolving into a better, wiser, stronger version of whom you are BEcoming.
*The Term Soul Contracts pops to mind*
Many people carry years worth of regrets & never fully move on from what happened.
“I should of done this”.
“I should of done that”.
“Maybe if i acted that way, this would of happened”.
The battle of should of/could of.
Never ending circle of What Ifs.
Life can be hard.
People can be arseholes.
Lots of different obstacles & barriers may arise.
I’ve spent so much time & energy.
Pissing & Moaning about the petty small stuff.
I’ve wasted energy arguing my point of view with people (my ego running the show).
The anxiety that used to arise from 2nd & 3rd guessing myself over & over in certain situations.
Rushing around & putting pressure on myself to be perfect.
The worry of upsetting people & saying Yes when my gut screamed No.
Not setting boundaries.
Not choosing my battles wisely (you don’t have to join in every arguement).
Wasting money “oh if i buy this, i will be happy”.
So many times in the past I’ve brought something for the temporary feeling of feeling happy, only to get home to realise i wasn’t happy buying something & felt guilty after. These days I’m happy with having more clear outs & less clutter.
Presents Christmas 2021- if i didn’t need something, i gave it away. With me if i would like/need something i buy it myself as & when. That’s why i can be a pain to buy for as there’s not much i want/need.
I’m a dreamer at heart so most days my head can be so far in the future.
If my future self could pop back to younger, naive me. I would say………..
Don’t be afraid of Change as it’s how one Evolve.
In life you don’t just jump from one stone to another in a straight line.
It’s a zigzag.
Life’s a spiral full of ups & downs.
So many paths, roads, steps & stones.
It’s a journey.
At times you won’t know What The F**k happened or why something happened.
It’s never clear cut.
You will encounter arseholes & dickheads along the way.
You will feel lost & unsure of yourself in your own skin at times.
All part of the Never-ending journey of Changing & Evolving into a Newer version of You…………………..
Wherever you are in the world/Mother Gaia. I hope you have a blessed day/night.
Felt the urge to write……….