Everyone’s got a version of you in their head.
You’ve even got a version if how you see yourself. Which most people don’t know about.
The best thing is people sometimes don’t know who you really are.
They might have memories of you, heard hearsay/gossip. Even someone really close to you doesn’t know 100% of who you are on the inside.
Imagine you’re a pie/cake with random flavours in each slice. Certain people know bits (slices) about you but they don’t know the other bits (slices).
You could come across as anxious. Yet in your mind your brave & when you’re on your own you’re spontaneous & extroverted/outgoing.
I think some people water themselves down abit to fit in & be liked.
While others will adapt to the situation/surroundings they’re in.
Like when you go to work. Free time you is switched off & career oriented you is switched on.
For me personally……….
I’m comfortable when I’m on my own chilling out.
Sitting by a sunlit window enjoying the suns radiant rays as they shine through the clouds in a beautiful blue sky.
I’m calm, chilled, in my own space.
Even meditating can either wake me up or make me feel sleepy.
Yet just sitting, focusing on my breathing & feeling my inner divine power shining/radiating through my skin. It’s an amazing feeling.
Yet some people might see me as……
Shy wall flower,
Funny or even a total bitch.
When I’m around friends/family. Most of the time i am listening but my mind can wonder else where (quietly meditating, dreaming, future planning etc) or even wondering what to say next.
Or I’ll just sit there listening & be in awe of the person talking (like wow I’m so grateful to have you in my life.) For me that’s my Soul Sisters meet ups & chatting to my best friend in the car on our random trips.
I’ve even chatted to friends/family on the phone after weeks maybe even months/years & been like I’m so glad your in my life.
I will admit. I do go through phases where i do ghost & just enjoy my own company & solitude.
It’s crazy to think that the people we grew up with at school have memories of how we used to be. Yet have no idea who we are now/who we’ve become/who we’re BEcoming.
Try to make sure the memory you leave someone is a happy one (I know it’s easier said than done at times). Even if you only meet them once. You will be remembered for how you made/make them feel.
You ever had a bad day & then a stranger makes you smile?.
That’s the kind of random moment I’m talking about.
It leaves an impression/feeling/memory/imprint.
We all lose our shit at times & let our mouth run quicker than our mindfulness.
In those type of moments. Apologise to the other person (if you feel to do so) & forgive yourself.
I’ve spent years kicking my own arse for running my mouth when i should of been mindful or just not reacted to the situation & walked away.
Yet I’ve also kicked my own arse for taking other people’s shit, not standing my own ground & firm setting fucking boundaries.
Sometimes i have moments where i think……
Wow, you know what. I’m glad I’m not in touch with that person anymore & they’re no longer in my life nor part of it.
Yet there’s little moments……
If I’ve drifted from someone, yet i still hope they’re going well in their own life.
Life’s too short for holding bitter grudges especially if the memories of people are bittersweet/sour (I’m going to refer to them as sour people).
If they’re (sour people) are no longer in your life, why let them take up space in your head?.
Have a sour memory about an ex?.
How is your life now compared to back then?.
Is the sour person really worth taking up your head space?.
Is that sour moment/sour person really worth the feelings (that might be popping up) stress, anxiety, loneliness, low mood, etc?.
How do you feel when that sour memory/sour person pops back to the front of your memory/mind?.
Only you can answer that question………….
(I have an anxiety tips blog. If anyone is experiencing low moods.)
What I’m learning……..
It’s how you see yourself & how you feel within yourself that really matters.
If you’re not happy in your own skin it can really affect who you are & how you react in the outside world.
None of us are made of steel/stone (as much as we like to think. Even that thick skin gets scratched at times).
We all feel hurt/pain.
Sometimes we bottle everything up (that “just get on with it attitude”) then out of nowhere, the slightest thing can cause a ripple/avalanche effect.
Then the tidal wave of bottled tears smashes & the tears flow everywhere. Suddenly you find yourself breaking down over everything (even if it’s tiny, it will add to the build up). Overwhelmed by stored/bottled emotions. You work through it & slowly rebuild who you are but a different version.
Each & every millisecond of the moment we’re in.
Only the imprints on people’s memories will stay.
The joy, love, happiness, gratitude, excitement, laughter, support, comfort, shoulder to cry on, uplifting, strength, the listener, wise words.
These are what will last……..
(If grudge holders wanna hold on to hot rocks of hate, anger, resentment, envy, & jealousy etc. That’s down to them.)
We’ve all fucked up in life at 1 point or another.
The Ho’oponopono prayer comes to mind…………..
Please Forgive Me.
I Love You.
*I’ve attached the 2 Ho’oponopono books (images) by Ulrich E. Deprée. I have both the books. I’ve read the 1st one about the prayer which i found helpful & insightful. I have yet to read the family one.*
My point is……….
One day you’ll be a memory……
Try to be a good one……..
Wherever you are in the world/Mother Gaia. I hope you have a blessed day/night.