Forgiveness Blog 02/03/2022

Felt the urge to write this blog (I’ve also written in my diary/journal today before i decided to write this blog).
As I’ve been feeling like this the past week.

The last few days/past week I’ve been kicking my own arse for having negative thoughts/feelings in the past.

For looking back & being my own worst judgemental critic.

Have you ever looked back & wished you could of done things differently?.

Thoughts & feelings of………

“I should of done that”.
“I should of done this”.
“I shouldn’t of said that”.
“I should of said this instead of……..”.

Truth is while we’re on the topic of forgiveness.

When we forgive someone 9 times out of 10 there’s a chance we’ll never likely see that person ever again. No ties no connection. We forgive & we walk away.

Yet it’s alot harder to fully 100% forgive ourselves for how we behaved/acted back in the past.

Yeah we can move on, but the memories can still linger & lurk like a shadow waiting to reappear.

Then 1day, you find yourself confronting & going through old emotions all over again even if the scars are years old, they still leave a mental scar.

This past week has been emotional for me (mentally by far). I’ve been quiet, reserved, isolating myself. Thoughts of self hate & self doubt creeping in. Judging myself harshly for my past feelings/behaviour. Past versions of me.

Truth is………

What I’ve realised is…….. I’ve never truly forgiven myself.

Moments when i should of set boundaries.
Moments when i should of controlled my anxiety instead of letting my mouth run riot.
Memories of pissing people off who i had high respect for.
Memories for standing up for people, then finding out years later that they’d betrayed me.
Memories of following the crowd/staying in a situation when i should of walked away.

I’ve also had feelings of self doubt (worrying if i didn’t fit in, worrying if my low vibes were affecting other people, worrying if i wasn’t good enough, worrying if i will be stuck for the next 10years where i am at present).

All those mental arse kickings i gave myself this past week, manifested into physical symptoms – sciatica (lower back nerve pain), lack of sleep (found myself binge watching series on tv to keep distracted) & ultimately i ended up feeling run down & not 100%. Today I’m just feeling drained & really tired with a mild 1 sided headache.


At times people may play the critic/judge in our lives. Yet they will never compare our own inner critic/judge in our minds.

No one knows what anyone’s inner critic is shouting in their own mind. So try to be kind.

Ultimately…….

If you’re living your past over & over in your mind……..
How can you expect to move on, change, grow & evolve. When you have past (words, actions, feelings) shadowing your present self?.

It’s time to forgive that past version of you (and everyone else’s opinions of you also).

I refer to the Ho’oponopono prayer.

I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.

*x*Exercise*x*

In your mind visualise saying the Ho’oponopono prayer. Visualise saying it to….
•  All past versions of you.
• Old situations.
• Old feelings.
• Experiences that were out of your control.
• Your past behaviour.
• People from your past- especially people whom you may feel negative towards.

Now visualise your present/future self/version of you that you wish to be. Visualise them comforting, forgiving & cuddling you in a warm embrace & washing away the old versions of you.

Embrace.
Nourish.
Nurture.
The newer version of you & whom you are becoming.

The past can no longer exist (only the memories can emerge if you allow them to).

Protect your mind.
Be mindful of how you speak to others (especially how you speak to yourself as you matter).

Sometimes the best & loudest response is to remain silent & walk away.

I came up with this exercise whilst writing in my diary/journal earlier

Write 2 columns.

1 with I AM

The other with

I AM Not.

For me…….

I AM
• Powerful.
• Love.
• Peace.
• Forgiveness.
• Humble.
• Sovereign.
• I love myself fully & whole heartedly.
• I am complete, yet i embrace change, so i may grow & evolve to my highest self.

I AM Not.

• My past mistakes.
• My self negative thoughts/feelings.
• Responsible for how others act & feel.

As the old saying goes……….

Practice what you preach.

Wherever you are in the world/Great Mother Gaia. I hope you have a blessed day/night.


©KM2022