Wow what a week.
This week I’ve found myself setting boundaries, observing my own behaviour & triggers. Also I’ve found this week i have a very low tolerance for negative vibes, behaviours & frankly BullSh!t in general.
I’ve found myself in a few situations this week when i was like “no, i ain’t taking that BS anymore from so & so.” So i decided to set a boundary & mirror it back.
The individual didn’t like it (and this time i wasn’t feeling guilty for what came out of my mouth) instead i was in the frame of mind of Fuck it…….. let’s see how you like being spoken to like crap for no reason (i made sure my tone was also setting a boundary as i spoke as to make it clear i won’t be spoken to like a door mat by anyone ever again).
I didn’t go into a full blown rage. It was more of a firm storm.
Normally if i found myself in this sort of situation I’d feel guilty after then go into people pleasing mode.
Just because you’re a relation doesn’t give you dominance/authority to treat me like crap. Quite frankly my current mood is Bye Bye see ya in a few months. I’m not feeling guilty which shocks me & in a weird way i guess I’m done trying to fix certain relationships in my life (especially when it’s normally 1 sided. Like someone starts a row, you stand your ground, then you’re made out to be the instigator who started it.) Narcissist behaviour *no thanks*. I guess that’s why i don’t feel guilty for walking away.
Whether friend, family or random stranger. I’ve realised this week I’ve let alot slide for so many years & now i find myself in a frame of mind/state of BEing where whatever doesn’t resonate (mainly people’s shitty behaviour, unasked for opinions & criticisms etc) i won’t be tolerating anymore.
By all means love & light to you. No negative vibes or attachments. I will just walk away & won’t be back (quite frankly).
I had an eye opener moment this week where i realised old emotions were popping up to the surface to be acknowledged & healed. I didn’t understand why i was feeling the emotions i was feeling considering i was in a chilled mood when i woke up. I found myself crying in the shower by mid morning but by mid afternoon i was feeling happy & i had a clearer understanding of why the low emotions popped up mid morning (mainly due to overthinking, trying to control a situation & thus triggering anxiety) those old feelings popped up to be acknowledged & healed. I was happy, chilled & in a sombre/mellow mood by the afternoon.
I’ve noticed this week people have been coming to me for help, a chat & advice. I’ve been actively listening & also observing (so i don’t pick up on any energies which aren’t my own).
I’m also feeling really determined in certain areas of my life. I’m really determined to get on a college course before the course starts in September (i know September is 5 months away) but I’m really eager to get a place & then hopefully make a career out of it.
I’m also being more open with those closest to me & asking for help if I feel old behaviours/patterns are surfacing (i used to isolate myself from people & sort things on my own whenever i was feeling low). Now whenever I’ve seen those patterns surfacing instead of closing myself off, I’ll reach out.
As the saying goes……..
Even healers need healing.
I hope your week is going well.
Wherever you are in the world/Great Mother Gaia. I hope you have a blessed day/night.
Wow what a week.