Last few days I’ve been experiencing stomach aches (See the image regarding stomach pains from Julia Cannon’s Soul Speak book).
Yesterday i was having abit of a wobble (overthinking if i was a friend or just an acquaintance to someone in my life).
It reminded me of a chat i had with one of my soul sisters (K could tell & pick up on how i was feeling). K said she could feel that I’ve never felt accepted by people in/through times of my life.
Yes it’s true.
Growing up because my teeth aren’t straight i have had moments where i felt self conscious especially as the teen years hit (puberty). I remember going to hospital as a teen & the Dr/Dentist reviewing the mould of my teeth they had taken & saying “we will need to break her top jaw to fix it”. Jaw surgery.
I remember what i thought at the time “why do i wanna look like everyone else?”.
A few years ago i went to an orthodontist & was actually considering the braces route (£4,000).
I was back looking into jaw surgery this week on social media & discovered it’s a major surgery. It’s a long process of braces, appointments & a long healing process. Maybe one day i will go ahead with it. Then again maybe one day i won’t.
Looking back at those moments now I’ve realised 15year old me had a lot of fire within her. She already knew her own mind & what she wanted. She just never knew (teen years following the crowd. Go figure 😅).
I woke up today.
Looked in the mirror.
I was amazed.
My body looks amazing.
I love my muffin top belly.
I love my stretch marks & my ever evolving changing body.
I love that I’m a size 14 with a wobbly belly & backside.
I love my height (I’m 5ft fun size 😆).
My shiny hair & hair colour (think my hair dying days are over).
I even love the odd white hair that has been popping through.
The way my immune system works & how it fights/works every second of the day to keep the body safe & healthy.
The way my body clears toxins & toxic crap from my system (even though being sick isn’t a nice feeling 😅).
How amazing my body is at feeling vibrations (& avoiding negative people 😅).
I love how through since being a little baby to these present moments, through the ups & downs of this crazy incarnation into this life.
My body has supported me.
My body has adapted.
My body has evolved.
My body has healed.
Despite the ups & downs of emotions/thoughts/feelings.
My body fat keeps me warm in the winter.
My skin heals from cuts & grazes.
My teeth aren’t straight yet i still smile & make others around me happy just by BEing me.
My cycle let’s me know how my hormones & body are doing each month.
Just by hugging/cuddling someone my heart can talk to another’s heart.
The changing colour of my finger nail bed let’s me know how my health is (research how/ways the nails can show how healthy the body is).
I’m in my early 30s & I AM fully Embracing Who I AM.
I LOVE WHO I AM & WHO I AM YET TO BECOME.
I have come along way in my life (i haven’t been a saint & i haven’t been a sinner).
I’ve been a bitch in a few chapters yet I’ve also been a friend in a few other chapters.
I realised today that it wasn’t about being accepted by others that was causing the spiritual stomach ache the last few days. It was the fact that i wasn’t fully accepting myself. That’s why the emotion was popping up & manifesting into the body. During this spiritual journey, I’ve learnt the body speaks & we only need to listen.
Let’s not forget we also went through a partial lunar eclipse lastnight (30th April 2022).
Who you have been.
Who you are.
Who you are becoming.
You’re gonna do amazing things.
There’s only 1 of you.
Love & Light.
Wherever you are in the world/Great Mother Gaia. I hope you have a blessed day/night.