I Found *ME* Blog 23/06/2022

Lying here just back from holiday. Trying to figure out how to word this blog……….

It’s like………

When you go on holiday for a week……….

You go feel-in-g lost…….

You spend some time in your head figuring things out……..

You have amazing moments (swimming whilst bonfire heart by James Blunt is playing & you’re so in the moment it makes you smile).

Then………..

You…….

Realise…….

You merge/shift with your inner child & finally realise you still have those dreams & that happy-go-lucky sense of humour.

I went away knowing i wouldn’t come back the same person as i was when i left.

Moments of clarity.

Yes, i did feel a few moments of loss when i went away. I looked deep into how i was feeling, then it reminded me it was when a baby bird takes that first leap into the unknown.

You see……..

I’ve realised after a long week away that i wasn’t lost at all. I knew where i was going, i just didn’t trust/believe in myself fully.

I held onto that branch tight & I was adamant about spreading my wings & taking the leap. At the beginning of the week i felt so sad when i looked behind & saw things changing. I was worried the connections I’d made would be lost & that I’d be on my own again.

Then i realised………..

An old behaviour of mine.

Co-Dependancy.

There was also a line that came with it……….

Look for information yourself & ask if you really need to.

Yet.

Don’t shut anyone out fully (hermit mode/self reliance).

I’ve come back………

Knowing i want to keep going & carrying on.

Not to dwell in low feelings as low moments are fleeting. They never last for long.

I’ve come back home looking at how far I’ve come so far in wonder.

Maybe it was acknowledging the dreams & aspirations my 10year old inner child had & the strength she carried within at such a young age. The wonder in her eyes & the laughter in her heart.

Driving home listening to B*Witched also re-lit a few of those warm glow memories of who i used to be.

The difference is………

I have the power, knowledge & wisdom to carry out & live my dreams.

Maybe i always have, yet now many years later.

I AM ready to take the leap.

I’m not scared anymore of being on my own, fleeting heart palpitations that caused ongoing anxiety, not scared of saying NO & wasting time going round & round constantly in *same old same old* behavioural patterns (myself as well as noticing others patterns).

I will hold all those divine connections close to my heart wherever my feet/wings carry me & hope we all meet again soon.

I will let go of the baggage wrapped up in fear & what no longer resonates/aligns with myself/Higher Self.

I’m done.

I’m letting go of the branch………….

I wonder where this could lead…………….

With eyes full of wonder & heart full of laughter……….

Wherever you are in the world/Great Mother Gaia. I hope you have a blessed/night.

©KM2022

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