Trying Not To Trigger Poem 14/10/2022

*Poetry has always been my release. Sometimes it’s felt alot easier for me to say how i feel in lyrics & verses than say it face to face*

Please don’t take it personal.
While i take this time to BE.
I need to sit & take some time, to reconnect with my energy.
Lately I’ve spread myself to thinly.
It doesn’t take a genius to see.
I need to take a step back.
And find my inner peace.
This isn’t about you.
I’ve taken on too much.
I’ve taken on too much of everyone else’s stuff.
I’ve said yes, when I’ve wanted to say no.
I’ve been present, when really i just felt to go.
These cycles keep spinning, like a washing machine out of control.
How am i meant to find myself, if I’m constantly on the go?.
So please don’t take it personal.
I need this distance to happen.
Because if things carry on as they have been, i can see an explosive trigger moment happen.
I’ve felt too relied on & it’s weighing heavily on me.
Trying to remain calm, when I’ve actually felt to scream.
Trying to maintain a friendship, yet needing time apart.
It’s not that i don’t want to be your friend, but saying yes to things is breaking my heart.
I can’t always be there whether it be job or drive.
I need to take this break, as it’s eating me up alive.
I can’t always be there.
Please don’t rely on me.
Because saying yes all the time.
Is starting to take it’s toll on me.
I’m a mix of frustration & sadness blurred into 1.
A tornado of emotions.
Triggered by 1.
Empathy.
Empathy is my Achilles’ heel.
Wanting to help is the call.
How am i to help, if I’m constantly focusing on the ALL?.
Scattered energy & emotions running constantly on high.
Trying to help.
Yet feeling drained all the time.
So please don’t take it personal.
If i start to ghost.
Trust me i need this time alone.
And my repeatedly cycles scream the most.
I need to set this boundary.
This line in the sand.
I can’t always be there.
But I’d still like to be your friend.

©KM2022