The Mirrored Cycle Blog 15/10/2022

Some may be happy to hear that i actually put pen to paper before wrote this blog. This blog is a minimised version of what i wrote down in my own personal journal.


So this past week i felt triggered by feel-in-g I’d been relied upon too much. These last few days have only cemented the fact that behavioural cycles (over helping helper) needed to be broken & firm boundaries needed to be put in place.

I realised as much as i liked helping others I’d been spreading my energy too thinly. I’d been neglecting myself & my own personal needs.

The frustration I’d felt rising within me like a slow erupting volcano.

*I’m going to add a few lines from my own personal journal*

*****

I can see the cycle & i can also see the mirrored cycle.

The mirrored cycle being when i used to rely on my past spiritual group too much.

Even day trips out I’d ask if i could be picked up & dropped off after. I also a majority of the time never had money on me for drinks/lunch on our weekly meet ups.

I fully understand now why i may have triggered a few individuals. Hence ultimately making some feel they needed to distance themselves from me or apply the cord cutting energy method.

Whilst i am in the process of acknowledging, healing & releasing this cycle. I fully understand why the cycle popped up.

It was also to break my own behavioural cycle of relying (too much at times) on others.

Exactly how i felt this week that i was relied upon too much & needed space.

So as i sit here writing with pen & paper (usually i blog) I feel & I know the energy is shifting & changing. I feel to say in a positive evolving kind of way.

I no longer look at the spiritual group splitting up as a negative thing. In these moments i look at it as a time to evolve in solitude & recharge & whilst i know/understand looking back may indeed possibly be another cycle. I AM grateful.

For what has been mirrored to me, has also been mirrored within me.

I am able to see, acknowledge, feel, heal & release.

I’m not planning to rush this cycle. I’m allowing myself to feel & heal in each moment.

Oddly I’m actually enjoying this solitude from social media, focusing on myself/evolutionary next step/stage.

And i don’t feel to tell anyone anything (as over-sharing in it’s self is another cycle/trauma response).

*****

In these moments I’m also feel-in-g to say I’m no longer holding anyone as tightly as i used to.

Some may have seen my poem….

Please Poem 08/06/2022
https://lyricsbyluna.com/2022/06/09/please-poem-08-06-2022/

I wrote that poem just before the spiritual group went our own separate ways.

I acknowledge in these moments, I held on so tightly & desperately on to that little group.

I feel to say so tightly that *energetically suffocating* pops to mind.

I say that as aimed at my past behaviour & observing my own past behaviour in these moments.

By me feeling scared of the bonds being broken, it might of halted the evolutionary process.

The steps that each of us (at the time) needed to take. Whether we liked it or not.

Lately I’m so chilled in my own solitude it can feel addicting at times. Yet a few months ago at the beginning of the Summer i absolutely hated it.

Even a food shop these days can feel like “No I’m happy in my own energy bubble, i don’t want to go out today”, “i don’t want to socialise”, “i feel it’s pointless me doing this/that if it’s not a high vibrational kinda thing”.

I don’t feel the need to socialise if it’s of no interest to me (gossip, judgement, other people’s lives etc).

I guess that’s why in certain areas of my life (whether it be personal, social, family, friends etc)

I’m distancing & quite frankly i can’t help it.

I’ll either be deeply actively listening to you & talking.

Or zoning out thinking of 5D stuff.

Or bopping around to a tune in my head if the subject has no interest to me whosoever or sounds like the main 3- gossip, judgement or bitching.

I AM a Spiritual BEing.

I’ll observe the 3D/4D stuff some individuals are living, behaving, playing in.

But i won’t be allowing myself to lower my vibrational frequency just because others/some want someone to bitch to.

Do you just wanna bitch?.
Or
Do you want a solution?.

I’m done being relied upon.
And if i should seek a new path in regards to my employment. I won’t feel manipulated into staying just to benefit some else.

Sometimes on our spiritual journey we can forget that we are allowed to move/evolve onto the next step as we’re so used to our current environment.

I for 1 will be embracing this current cycle & just as the metamorphosis of a catapillar to a butterfly. So too shall i gain my wings as my evolutionary spiritual journey takes me.

& quite frankly fuck off to wherever the autumnal breeze carries me.

Wherever you are in the world/Great Mother Gaia. I hope you have a blessed day/night.

©KM2022