So I had a realisation at 4am today whilst at work.
In fact my body had been sending me signals for a while. I just hadn’t tuned in deep enough until today’s early morning moments.
I haven’t been looking after my body as much as I should have. Despite a kitchen full of food. I haven’t been eating properly.
Yesterday I had cereal & a handful of berries.
Lunch was soup & bread.
Dinner was a snack of a few jaffa cakes.
I was in bed by 9pm & up again at 3am for work (quick hot chocolate cacoa drink) & at work for 4am.
Then home & awake for the rest of the day.
I’ve lost weight but not in a good way. Although I take a multivitamin each day it’s not enough & because I’ve been rushing around do much I haven’t been eating properly.
I’ve lost muscle mass.
How do I know this?. Because my shoulder blades ache (no tip pain), my boobs have gone droopy, I’m tired despite napping & resting. Despite having vitamin tablets my body still isn’t getting enough due to diet (not eating properly).
I felt like crying whilst at work today when the realisation hit me. My body seemed to calm it self when the mind & heart spoke (the anxiety I felt in my chest, that had been popping up for weeks to desperately get my attention, had subsided & stopped once i listened & listened in depth with no judgement). Like a conversation between head & heart.
When I started my Spiritual Awakening Journey, I cut out pork & beef from my diet.
I didn’t wean myself off.
I became consciously aware of what I was eating (also the fear energy from the animal that had gone into the meat from the animal that had been slaughtered for human consumption).
When I look at my diet before I had my Spiritual Awakening Journey. It wasn’t much better. Saturated fats,chocolate & processed sugar. Overweight & eating crap basically with no exercise.
However now I’ve experienced the other side of the scales par say.
I know there needs to be a balance. Otherwise I fear my body will break………..
I realise in these moments although sometimes I don’t feel like eating 3 meals a day at least. I know I need to & also be more aware of the meals nutritional value.
I feel to say this might be my last blog for a while as I need to get my health back in check. I need to get healthy again & eat more.
My size 14 jeans are loose on me in a bad way.
Also the heart is a muscle.
My body has probably been lacking in vitamins, minerals,fats & acids.
That’s also probably why I feel my stomach acid so easily (more noticeable) because there’s nothing in there & the body might be using the remaining stomach acid as fuel.
I need to take this time out to fully focus on getting my body healthy & my energy levels back up.
I’ve always been a yo-yo. My weight has gone up 1 day then down the next. However I’ve never felt this tired & drained on the trot for so many days. There’s only so much sleep you can have before you need to address an issue. And I need to kick my arse into gear on this one.
Not just for me but also my daughters. I don’t want them experiencing an eating disorder or trying to shape their bodies to fit a “1 size fits all” stereotype. It’s not healthy.
On the NHS website my stats for BMI state overweight. Now I can only imagine what it must feel to be a teenager in this day & age.
I’ve done 2 diets in my life.
The gestational diabetes diet (similar to keto).
And the fasting from 8pm- 12 midday & only drinking water. I’ve also drank lemon water on an empty stomach 1st thing in the morning
I’m not sure if what I’m experiencing is possibly part of the 12strain DNA upgrade to Crystaline body. However apart from being in labour twice, I can’t ever remember being this tired & drained.
I’m going to leave the blog there asi desperately need a nap.
Wherever you are in the world/Great Mother Gaia. I hope you have a blessed day/night.