*Contains alot of swearing*
Sitting here & felt inspired to blog.
I’ve learnt a lot these past few years & especially this past month.
I’m beginning to fully know & realise.
Who was there for me.
Who was there for that chapter.
Who never was there for me.
It really hit me hard over the last 24hrs.
Like a feeling you try to shake but it’s unshakeable.
To me it ultimately came down to frequencies.
You see as you evolve up the Spiritual Awakening spiral & continue to raise your vibrational frequency.
You shed layers/behaviours/cycles of what no longer resonates for you.
Sometimes you might even drift apart from individuals no longer on your frequency/wavelength.
It’s totally normal.
For example- I’ve no interest in bitching, gossiping or being told someone else’s business. So I have drifted away from those who do enjoy that sort of stuff.
I also won’t go to places where I feel uneasy/not welcome. I’ve had times in the past where I did show up unexpectedly & felt like a twat.
Yeah, I won’t be doing that anymore.
Yesterday I went somewhere as I felt I needed to observe & see for myself the situation. So I went & the universe knows my feelings on the matter. All I remember thinking was “it shouldn’t be like this”.
Before my Spiritual Awakening Journey I was seen as……..
Didn’t stand up for myself.
And the thing is, I think if those I’m no longer close to hear my name, those words will still pop into their head.
“Oh yeah, I know her she’s XYZ……”.
Someone could know you your whole life & still not know the true you.
I know for a fact, very few people know who I AM now in these moments.
My close circle is probably more tighter than my arsehole.
I trust very few as I know a majority of the time people are only after gossip/a hold over you.
No, I’m not living my life the matrix/traditional way & I fully don’t intend to. As I never agreed with what I was taught growing up.
Who the fuck uses algebra in adult life?.
The only pie I’ve ever used is one which was to be eaten.
These last few years you may have seen a divide.
Those who chose to follow what they saw on TV & those who didn’t.
I believe feeling like the black sheep a majority of the time in my life, saved me.
As I was used to not following the crowd.
I remember when I was 15 at hospital getting my teeth looked at for possible jaw surgery & thinking “I don’t wanna be like everyone else”.
Yeah, I kicked my own arse years later for wanting to look “normal/pretty”.
But when I woke up (Spiritual Awakening Journey) it was like jigsaw pieces coming together.
Sure 15 year old me did make mistakes, but not getting jaw surgery wasn’t one of them.
I don’t regret it. Even when I see the dentist now & they mention it. I’m like nope I’m ok thanks.
I sometimes think what life could have been like if I followed my dreams at 15 instead of following the crowd (typical boy crazy teenager).
But, my life wouldn’t be how it is now.
So I don’t regret any stepping stones which have lead me to this moment.
I know I’m the cycle breaker in my lineage & it’s a role I don’t take lightly.
I don’t want to be the ancestor who followed the rules/the traditional route.
I want to be the crazy ancestor who paved a new path.
A healthier & more healed path.
I don’t want those who are here now & those yet to come, having to go through & clear the trauma work I didn’t clear.
I’m gonna fucking do it!.
That’s why when 1 cycle pops up, I don’t shy away from it & sometimes another pops up just after 1 is cleared.
Sometimes you have to lighten the load so you can spread your wings & fly.
How you gonna fly when you’re carrying years worth of emotional/mental baggage??.
Boundaries (firm fucking boundaries).
You can’t take negative vibes into the New 5D Earth.
It would be like taking anger into Heaven.
It just wouldn’t work.
And yes, healing hurts.
It hurts so much sometimes you just want to cry & let it all out.
So cry (crying is the way the body cleanses & releases stored emotions).
Dive deep into those emotions.
Go straight to the root & rip that motherfucker out!
Out if you feel to.
But remember to release.
For me it’s like onion layers.
You get through 1 and you’ve got another to go through & so on.
But gradually things should get easier & lighter.
Til the day you can look back & not feel any low vibes anymore (anger, resentment, sorrow etc).
The day you don’t get triggered.
It’s a surreal feeling when you’re no longer triggered at something/someone that used to piss you off/make you angry.
Ultimately once you fully heal from something, no one can use it as ammunition against you.
You’ll be the master of your own mind & inner peace.
Master your thoughts & the rest should fall into place.
Go for a walk in Great Mother Gaia.
Live your life.
There’s only 1 of you in that beautifully unique body of yours.
Wherever you are in the world/Great Mother Gaia. I hope you have a blessed day/night.
*Contains alot of swearing*