I’ve just had a beautiful chat with someone i haven’t spoken to in a while.
I was told something that would of normally triggered me into making a phone call, asking questions & trying to arrange plans (old behavioural patterns).
However today, in that moment, i took a step back & observed. I was essentially watching my emotions & any thoughts that popped up.
I asked questions, yet i didn’t go in depth (like my old behavioural patterns would of).
In the past, my mouth would of run rampant & anxiety would flare.
Today, in those small moments.
Talking to a loved one.
Without feeling triggered or feeling any authority.
I listened to the loved one & observed/viewed myself.
After the call, i played a song that reminded me of them & the song also tied into that period/time of my life.
I allowed that vulnerable, hurt, shy, & lost version of me to be felt.
That hidden version of me, who i was back then, before all the shit hit the fan.
I allowed myself to go deep, deep within myself to embrace her & say………….
‘I See You, I Hear You, & I Fully Embrace You’.
As i was merging & shifting, i felt a warm glow coming out of me alongside warm tears of love.
That old version of me……..
Who had her world torn & ripped apart.
6months on her aunt’s sofa.
High dose of anti depressants.
The way she made out she was ok by wearing make up as a form of war paint & wearing heavy layers of invisible armour.
All to hide the soul shattering pain she was feeling on the inside.
The pain that taunts you when you’re on your own alone at night whilst everyone is asleep.
Who ever thought a person’s own mind could be their jail/tormentor.
Over the last year or so (since my Spiritual Awakening Journey) alot has changed.
I’ve realised alot.
I’ve changed alot.
Yet what I’ve learnt from My Spiritual Awakening Journey is……….
What I’ve learnt is also healing alot from my past (old wounds, past versions of myself) as well as helping & healing newer versions of Whom I AM yet to BEcome.
My past NO Longer Defines………
WHO
I
AM.
People from my past- feel free to slag me off to your hearts content. For that version no longer exists. You’re basically tarnishing someone who no longer exists.
You don’t know Who I AM.
The great thing is…….
Over the years my circle (of who i allow access to me) has got alot smaller.
I’ve got no interest in being popular & gossiping.
I’ve distanced myself from alot of people over the years & there’s alot less BS in the air.
No one knows what I’m doing, as I’m no longer airing what I’m doing day by day like some may do.
I’m happy with Who I AM at present.
I’ve got beautiful beings around me in my life whom i trust.
I’ve got goals which I AM aiming for.
1 of my main goals is………
To be a better version of myself, than i was yesterday.
I tend not to dwell in yesterday’s anymore (unless they’re happy moments or moments that need healing).
I also don’t dwell in the anxiety of the future, as the moments haven’t yet happened.
*As for the question you asked earlier Babygirl*
When i write, i let the words flow.
That might be why some of these blogs tend to go off topic as there’s so many ideas/words popping up 😅.
Happy SUNday everyone.
Wherever you are in the world/Great Mother Gaia. I hope you have a blessed day/night.
©KM2022
Lyrics By Luna 